“I’ve gone into hiding.” “We’re in Pizza Hut.” “That’s what you think,” Laverne lowered her voice. “Look around… what do you see?” “Happy fat people.” “All of them?” “All the ones eating pizza,” I was able to confirm. “What about him on his own over at the salad bar? What’s his story?” “That’s a woman.” … Continue reading Local Weirdough
When canny cannibals suggest You call round as a dinner guest You're right to feel suspicious They're hoping you're delicious And if the book next to the pan Is How To Serve Your Fellow Man It's time to quit the venue Because you're on the menu
When greeting guests in Tokyo The custom is to bow down low While in Tibet both old and young Say hi by sticking out their tongue In France it’s chic to peck the cheek And friends will clap in Mozambique Though Greenlanders will sniff your face Before they help you with your case. Most Eskimos … Continue reading Seasoned Greetings
The brains behind the pencil Made his mark which we commend But smarter still's his wife Who stuck a rubber on the end
Of Cleopatra it was said Her loves were so prolific That writing down her antics led To six new hieroglyphics
Porcupines, when making love Must meet at the right juncture For any variation of Results in acupuncture
https://thechambermagazine.com/2021/03/19/interview-with-author-poet-john-ormsby/ March 19th, 2021 Bio: I grew up in Toronto where upon graduating university I landed a job as a copy editor for a legal publisher. The work was poorly paid and mind-numbingly forensic with no room whatsoever for any creativity; we were basically word accountants. Upping sticks, I moved to the UK where I’ve … Continue reading Interview: The Chamber Magazine
But somewhere, somehow Judas turned And walked away from all he’d learned So when the two men dipped their bread They both knew one would soon be dead. We’re not sure how it came to this Why he betrayed him with a kiss To bring about the earthly end Of someone he had called a … Continue reading Double Cross
Flamingos dine while upside down Which sometimes makes me think: How is it that they never drown Each time they take a drink?
Beware the Ides! foretells the fallOf he who rose to conquer GaulAnd lands still further from his homeThis warrior, this son of Rome.On his return to claim his rightA haruspex with second sightMet Caesar by the Senate archTo warn him of the Ides of March.They’d killed an ox and found no spleenAn omen that could … Continue reading Arch Nemesis
