Local Weirdough

“I’ve gone into hiding.” “We’re in Pizza Hut.” “That’s what you think,” Laverne lowered her voice. “Look around… what do you see?” “Happy fat people.” “All of them?” “All the ones eating pizza,” I was able to confirm. “What about him on his own over at the salad bar? What’s his story?” “That’s a woman.” … Continue reading Local Weirdough

Watch Your Tongue

When canny cannibals suggest You call round as a dinner guest You're right to feel suspicious They're hoping you're delicious And if the book next to the pan Is How To Serve Your Fellow Man It's time to quit the venue Because you're on the menu

Seasoned Greetings

When greeting guests in Tokyo The custom is to bow down low While in Tibet both old and young Say hi by sticking out their tongue In France it’s chic to peck the cheek And friends will clap in Mozambique Though Greenlanders will sniff your face Before they help you with your case. Most Eskimos … Continue reading Seasoned Greetings

Interview: The Chamber Magazine

https://thechambermagazine.com/2021/03/19/interview-with-author-poet-john-ormsby/ March 19th, 2021 Bio: I grew up in Toronto where upon graduating university I landed a job as a copy editor for a legal publisher. The work was poorly paid and mind-numbingly forensic with no room whatsoever for any creativity; we were basically word accountants. Upping sticks, I moved to the UK where I’ve … Continue reading Interview: The Chamber Magazine

Double Cross

But somewhere, somehow Judas turned And walked away from all he’d learned So when the two men dipped their bread They both knew one would soon be dead. We’re not sure how it came to this Why he betrayed him with a kiss To bring about the earthly end Of someone he had called a … Continue reading Double Cross

Arch Nemesis

Beware the Ides! foretells the fallOf he who rose to conquer GaulAnd lands still further from his homeThis warrior, this son of Rome.On his return to claim his rightA haruspex with second sightMet Caesar by the Senate archTo warn him of the Ides of March.They’d killed an ox and found no spleenAn omen that could … Continue reading Arch Nemesis