Prickly Heat

My love is like a red red rose… One Scottish bard chose to expose. My ex was like a Yucca plant And on the yeuch I’m adamant.

Arch Nemesis

Beware the Ides! foretells the fallOf he who rose to conquer GaulAnd lands still further from his homeThis warrior, this son of Rome.On his return to claim his rightA haruspex with second sightMet Caesar by the Senate archTo warn him of the Ides of March.They’d killed an ox and found no spleenAn omen that could … Continue reading Arch Nemesis →

Face Booked

Said Narcissus's missus: No kiss is as his is...

Pen Knife

The pen is mightier than the sword... A proposition best ignored For, seldom it's a Bic we need Whilst battling pirates who can't read

Pyramid Schemer

Of Cleopatra it was said Her loves were so prolific Recording all their antics led To six new hieroglyphics

Same Difference

In this age of doublespeak, I've come up with alternative definitions for the following: burger: what tigers say when they're cold understandable: what a bull whisperer is paid to do dresser: a personal valet's job earring: tinnitus tumour: ordering another round for you and a mate former: ordering a round of doubles for you and … Continue reading Same Difference →

Mane Attraction

Rapunzel's prince betrothed his love Her freedom he was wishing her Alas, he could not climb above! (she'd used too much conditioner)

Helluva Twist

To the Finder Should you happen upon these pages, Dear Reader, you will acquaint yourself with the final remembrances of a life – my life – which is no longer of any consequence to those who mattered most to me. For the record, I was christened Anne, branding me with the same scarlet stain borne … Continue reading Helluva Twist →