Without any apology I traced my genealogy In hope I’d find an entry Replete with well-heeled gentry. Perhaps a Duke without an heir Set to bequeath his titled lair Or better yet a Duchess Who’d hold me in her clutches. I dreamed of billionaire tycoons Who sipped and supped from silver spoons Whose present state … Continue reading Branch Locator
Our friend, the snail, needs never pack For all it owns is on its back It heads out on the open road Quite unencumbered by its load Snails never need to book hotels Instead they curl up in their shells Emerging when they feel the need To partake in a nightly feed We mock the … Continue reading Less Cargo
Weirdos They’re everywhere Lurking in our towns… Dogs flying through the air Fish dressed up as clowns Harp-playing rugby players Baths in chili sauce Preachers in underwear Girls who like lacrosse Street hustlers shuffling cards Ferrets down your pants Tap dancing crossing guards Stripping postulants Weirdos They’re everywhere Something’s run afoul What's lured them from … Continue reading Geek Chic
My neighbour favours push-up bras To emphasize her cleavage Although defying Newton’s Laws Necessitates some heavage. When on display, the locals say: How fortunate she's got them! But sex appeal ain't always real 'Cause I know where she bought them
I have a dog; his name is Spark Who sometimes takes me to the park Where we enjoy an evening stroll I feed the ducks; he’s on patrol. An old pro, Spark knows all the tricks From playing dead to fetching sticks His latest one involves a scheme Which gets him loads of free ice … Continue reading Game of Cones
Sue sits at her laptop Pinging emails to herself Andy’s new ZOOM backdrop Is a virtual bookshelf Pete’s touched base with Linked-In To float this week’s ideation Debbie’s power-thinking More proactive penetration. Management consultants Hoped that Covid would pay out Not to be insultant But such optics are in doubt. Companies aren’t calling They're too … Continue reading Counsel Culture
If killer whales stood on their tails And walked out of the sea A dog's next trick he'd learn real quick Is how to climb a tree
When sailors open drums of rum To swig below the decks Indulgent captains who succumb Are often found in wrecks
Ballerinas stand on toes To dazzle us with twirls But here’s the question I would pose: Why not hire taller girls?
We have a hedge - when I say we I’m merely being neighbourly Which separates us from next door We’re Number Two, he’s Number Four. The hedge is green and not that tall And forms a living, breathing wall That houses hedgehogs, snails and toads Who are no match for busy roads. The problem is, … Continue reading Bushwhacked
