Said Narcissus' missus: No kiss is as his is...
My thoughts on politics, if any? To spare three lines would be too many
A lot of people ask me the difference between Canadians and Americans. Well, first the facts: our country's larger, our population's smaller, Canadian men liked wearing clogs in the '70s and we've never considered testing the viscosity of spray cheese in space a worthwhile scientific endeavour. I noticed while working abroad that colleagues soon began … Continue reading Star Spangled Boner
“I feel like a Stepford Wife.” “That explains the outfit then.” “No, I’m serious. I no longer feel comfortable buying just anything, only what’s needed,” Laverne complained, as she headed down the cookie aisle. “We’re being reprogrammed to become more altruistic which I guess isn’t a bad thing.” “Toilet paper’s that way,” I pointed behind … Continue reading Aisle Stand By You
“My stalker’s released more nude photos of me.” “How’s your hair in them?” “Fabulous. I'd just had it done.” “Let's have a look.” Laverne slid her phone across the table. “You owe him one,” I agreed, swiping through a considerable collection of images. “Maybe you should get him something.” “Like what?” “Halloween's coming up.” “What … Continue reading Stalk Options
The pigeon likes to leave its mark No matter where we choose to park And so, I'm pleading with the pigeon Could you maybe move a smidgen?
I bade my love compose an ode To prove her heart was true Reciting To Him All Is Owed She blushed the whole way through. I bade my love prepare a feast Befitting of her lord She cooked for me the finest beast Her dowry would afford. I bade my love take out a boat … Continue reading Over, Lord
The buzz of a mosquito can Torment the mind of any man And those who mock this state of dread Have never heard one whilst in bed
The pen is mightier than the sword... A proposition best ignored For, seldom it's a Bic we need When battling pirates who can't read
My sweet, when we say love is blind It's simply Nature being kind For were our flaws known in advance You wouldn't get a second glance