I bade my love compose an ode To prove her heart was true Reciting To Him All Is Owed She blushed the whole way through. I bade my love prepare a feast Befitting of her lord She cooked for me the finest beast Her dowry would afford. I bade my love take out a boat … Continue reading Over, Lord
The buzz of a mosquito can Torment the mind of any man And those who mock this state of dread Have never heard one while in bed
“My stalker’s released more nude photos of me.” “How’s your hair in them?” “Fabulous. I'd just had it done.” “Let's have a look.” Laverne slid her phone across the table. “You owe him one,” I agreed, swiping through a considerable collection of images. “Maybe you should get him something.” “Like what?” “Halloween's coming up.” “What … Continue reading Stalk Options
"The pen is mightier than the sword" A proposition best ignored For, rare it is men are agreed Still rarer, pirates who can read
My sweet, when we say love is blind It's simply Nature being kind For, were our flaws known in advance You wouldn't get a second glance
It’s claimed that goldfish draw a blank Each time they meet inside a tank Indecorous, though most don't sweat it And agree to just forget it
The rule for fractions when you're young? It's two-thirds' brains And one-third tongue
The pessimist with half a glass Sees no point being gleeful While optimists will always ask If theirs comes with a refill
The honey bee performs a dance Which indicates the vector Its friends should fly to find those plants Providing the best nectar. With six legs that’s no easy feat And so, to overcome it To keep the message short and sweet The less adroit just hum it.
Sir Francis Drake had what it takes To sail around the world And followed in Magellan’s wake With England’s flag unfurled. Along his route he plundered loot Until the hold was packed With millions from Brazilians And the Spaniards he attacked. On his return, the English yearned To learn of far off places Of queens … Continue reading Captain’s Log
