"It's not the heat, it's the humidity" A mantra of utter stupidity For, muggy or not Let's agree that it's hot Before tackling the lacking aridity
Category: nature
Ode to a Toad
Even at your throatiest You're not the least melodious. The truth, my precious toady, is You're positively odious.
Star Spangled Boner
A lot of people ask me the difference between Canadians and Americans. Well, first the facts: our country's larger, our population's smaller, Canadian men liked wearing clogs in the '70s and we've never considered testing the viscosity of spray cheese in space a worthwhile scientific endeavour. I noticed while working abroad that colleagues soon began … Continue reading Star Spangled Boner
You Can’t Be Sirius
The push is on to get to MarsBecause down here we’ve blown itI’m just not sure if Mars is oursFor who’s to say we own it?Maybe its own inhabitantsWill greet us when we cruise inIn tiny, shiny disco pantsAnd shout We're all called Susan!We’ll tell them all about the EarthIts sky, its seas, the landHow … Continue reading You Can’t Be Sirius
Bushwhacked
We have a hedge - when I say we I’m merely being neighbourly Which separates us from next door We’re Number Two, they're Number Four. The hedge is green and not too tall And forms a living, breathing wall Which houses hedgehogs, snails and toads Who are no match for busy roads. The problem is, … Continue reading Bushwhacked
Hue and Cry
On the news they warn: the city's now a combat zone Turned off the TV and went outside to be alone Some I know are marching, mostly peaceful, others not Strangers now are asking me if I'm a patriot Sitting in my garden, how I love the peace and quiet I'll fight for a cause … Continue reading Hue and Cry
Creature Feature
When dining out we’re well aware Our manners are on view We open doors like Fred Astaire Insisting... After you! Which silverware to use and when And how to hold a glass While tackling pommes parisienne Delineate one’s class. But not so in the cinema The difference is stark Because it’s hard to be bourgeois … Continue reading Creature Feature
Welcome to Finland
If killer whales stood on their tails And walked out of the sea A dog's next trick he'd learn real quick Is how to climb a tree
Less Cargo
Our friend, the snail, needs never pack For all it owns is on its back It heads out on the open road Quite unencumbered by its load Snails never need to book hotels Instead they curl up in their shells Emerging when they feel the need To partake in an evening feed We mock the … Continue reading Less Cargo
Branch Locator
Without any apology I traced my genealogy In hope I’d find an entry Replete with well-heeled gentry. Perhaps a Duke without an heir Yet to bequeath his titled lair Or better yet a Duchess Who’d keep me in her clutches. I dreamed of billionaire tycoons Who sipped and supped from silver spoons Whose present state … Continue reading Branch Locator