The moment I turn down your streetThere’s no one that I wish to meetSo step aside or feel my wrath‘Cause I’m a walking psychopath.I don’t care how you feel todayIf so-and-so has moved awayOr that you think the neighbour’s gayBecause he took up macramé.I’ll knock your pots then slam the gateAnd feed that dog of … Continue reading Alpha Mail
The day before The Night BeforeThe office turned into a storeWith gifts galore from Santa’s stockAt lunchtime, right on one o’clock A furtive glance across the roomAs someone tried to wrap perfumeA figure hunched behind a fern(the new girl had a lot to learn) A friend will cough to help a mateDisguise the sound of … Continue reading Secret Santa
Sue sits at her laptop Pinging emails to herself Andy’s new ZOOM backdrop Is a virtual bookshelf Pete’s touched base with Linked-In To float this week’s ideation Debbie’s power-thinking More proactive penetration. Management consultants Hoped that Covid would pay out Not to be insultant But such optics are in doubt. Companies aren’t calling They're too … Continue reading Counsel Culture
"Why are you in school?" "What do you mean? "I mean Why are you in school? I'm in school because my parents are Key Workers." "Mine are as well." "My father's a Member of Parliament and my mother's a doctor. What do yours do again?" "My dad stacks shelves at ASDA and my mom works … Continue reading Lockdown Knockdown
“I feel like a Stepford Wife.” “That explains the outfit then.” “No, I’m serious. I no longer feel comfortable buying just anything, only what’s needed,” Laverne complained, as she headed down the cookie aisle. “We’re being reprogrammed to become more altruistic which I guess isn’t a bad thing.” “Toilet paper’s that way,” I pointed behind … Continue reading Aisle Stand By You
A friend of mine who used to teach Said some kids he just couldn't reach A situation made more grim For they were learning how to swim
Where’s Monica? her colleagues asked The heating’s not turned up enough It’s not as if she’s over-tasked To take care of this kind of stuff. Where’s Monica? another chimed It’s 9:05, we’ve got no milk Do we now have to have her timed? Her job? Her breaks? Her type? Her ilk? I never bother, you … Continue reading Tale End
First day back at school after the Christmas break. Greeted colleagues in the staff room where everyone was sharing stories about their holidays and plans to make this term the best ever. "I thought about this place a lot when I was off and decided that teaching really is the best career in the world," … Continue reading School Daze
