Loco Motives

The day I want to bake some bread You’ll be the first to know Were you confused that time I said I need to make more dough? And should I wish to buy a goat Around the holidays Feel free to name it but take note I'd like it honey-glazed. A scented candle lets me … Continue reading Loco Motives

Secret Santa

The day before The Night BeforeThe office turned into a storeWith gifts galore from Santa’s stockAt lunchtime, right on one o’clock A furtive glance across the roomAs someone tried to wrap perfumeA figure hunched behind a fern(the new girl had a lot to learn) A friend will cough to help a mateDisguise the sound of … Continue reading Secret Santa

A Sine of Genus

Imagine sitting by a lake And wondering what it would take To calculate its area The formula would scare ya. Or fancy while beneath a tree You’re struck by thoughts of gravity Quite tough with which to grapple Whilst snacking on an apple. Or say you're watching tortoises When what you start to notice is … Continue reading A Sine of Genus

Just Desserts

“My dry cleaner’s been wearing my clothes when she goes out on dates,” Laverne announced.“How do you know?”“Last night she posted a picture of herself in a dress identical to one I dropped off two days ago.”“How’d she look in it?” I asked tentatively.“Fabulous.”“Bitch.”“Exactly.”“Want me to cut her?”“We’ll swing by on the way home. On … Continue reading Just Desserts

Branch Locator

Without any apology I traced my genealogy In hope I’d find an entry Replete with well-heeled gentry. Perhaps a Duke without an heir Yet to bequeath his titled lair Or better yet a Duchess Who’d keep me in her clutches. I dreamed of billionaire tycoons Who sipped and supped from silver spoons Whose present state … Continue reading Branch Locator

Less Cargo

Our friend, the snail, needs never pack For all it owns is on its back It heads out on the open road Quite unencumbered by its load Snails never need to book hotels Instead they curl up in their shells Emerging when they feel the need To partake in an evening feed We mock the … Continue reading Less Cargo