The rule for fractions when you're young? It's two-thirds' brains And one-third tongue
The pessimist with half a glass Sees no point being gleeful While optimists will always ask If theirs comes with a refill
The honey bee performs a dance Which indicates the vector Its friends should fly to find those plants Providing the best nectar. With six legs that’s no easy feat And so, to overcome it To keep the message short and sweet The less adroit just hum it.
Sir Francis Drake had what it takes To sail around the world And followed in Magellan’s wake With England’s flag unfurled. Along his route he plundered loot Until the hold was packed With millions from Brazilians And the Spaniards he attacked. On his return, the English yearned To learn of far off places Of queens … Continue reading Captain’s Log
“I’ve gone into hiding.” “We’re in Pizza Hut.” “That’s what they want you to think,” Laverne lowered her voice. “Look around… what do you see?” “Happy fat people.” “All of them?” “All the ones eating pizza,” I was able to confirm. “What about him on his own over at the salad bar? What’s his story?” … Continue reading Local Weirdough
When canny cannibals suggest You call round as a dinner guest You're right to feel suspicious They're hoping you're delicious And if the book next to the pan Is 'How To Serve Your Fellow Man' It's time to quit the venue 'Cause guess who's on the menu?
When greeting guests in Tokyo The custom is to bow down low While in Tibet both old and young Say hi by sticking out their tongue. In France it’s chic to peck the cheek And friends will clap in Mozambique Though Greenlanders will sniff your face Before they help you with your case. Most Eskimos … Continue reading Seasoned Greetings
The brains behind the pencil Made his mark which we commend But smarter still's his wife Who stuck a rubber on the end
Of Cleopatra it was said Her loves were so prolific Recording all their antics led To six new hieroglyphics
Porcupines, when making love Must meet at the right juncture For any variation of Results in acupuncture