Sir Francis Drake had what it takes To sail around the world And followed in Magellan’s wake With England’s flag unfurled. Along his route he plundered loot Until the hold was packed With millions from Brazilians And the Spaniards he attacked. On his return, the English yearned To learn of far off places Of queens … Continue reading Captain’s Log
Today the Queen turned ninety-four Her subjects wish her many more Except the heir, on bended knee Who hoped she'd go at ninety-three
The new teacher entered the classroom and took her seat, greeting no one. Perpetua Tightwaters was having a bad day but her deportment made it impossible for the students to tell because she held only one expression in her armoury: disapproval. A fierce-looking woman with grey-blue eyes which devoured their prey whole, she could scan … Continue reading Don’t Stand So Close To Me
“I’m watching you,” the voice came down the phone.“Where are you?” I asked, pulling into the car park.“Drive straight on until you see a yellow Smart Car. I’m just past it on the right.”“Did you say yellow Smart Car?”“I know, don’t even...”“Who in their right mind drives around in a yellow Smart Car?”“Banana Man.”“Who’s Banana … Continue reading Thank Queue
Old King Henry had six wivesWhose days were full of dreadFor most of them led tragic livesThen often wound up dead.Catherine of AragonTo whom he first proposedCould not produce a princely sonSo he said Adios!Then Anne Boleyn, closer to homeDemanded that they wedSo Henry cut off ties with RomeAnd then cut off her head.Poor Jane … Continue reading Dirty Harry
Prince Harry chose to jet abroadAnd start his life anewHer Majesty had thought it odd He'd given not a clue.While chess has always been aboutThe move that's unforeseenNo pawn has ever taken outA well-defended queen.
The last of the dishes put away and with both dogs farting up a storm after polishing off the unwanted sprouts, everyone gathered in front of the TV for Her Majesty's Christmas message to the nation. At 93, The Queen appeared staid and resolute, a safe pair of hands to see us through the next … Continue reading Heir Heads