Don’t Stand So Close To Me

The new teacher entered the classroom and took her seat, greeting no one. Perpetua Tightwaters was having a bad day but her usual, composed self made it impossible for the students to tell because she held only one expression in her armoury: disapproval. A fierce-looking woman with grey-blue eyes which devoured their prey whole, she … Continue reading Don’t Stand So Close To Me

Thank Queue

“I’m watching you,” the voice said down the phone.“Where are you?” I asked, pulling into the car park.“Drive straight on until you see a yellow Smart Car. I’m just past it on the right.”“Did you say yellow Smart Car?”“I know, don’t even...”“Who in their right mind drives around in a yellow Smart Car?”“Banana Man.”“Who’s Banana … Continue reading Thank Queue

Dirty Harry

Old King Henry had six wivesWhose days were full of dreadFor most of them led tragic livesThen often wound up dead.Catherine of AragonTo whom he first proposedCould not produce a princely sonSo he said Adios!Then Anne Boleyn, closer to homeDemanded that they wedSo Henry cut off ties with RomeAnd then cut off her head.Poor Jane … Continue reading Dirty Harry