Watch Your Tongue

When canny cannibals suggest You call round as a dinner guest You're right to feel suspicious They're hoping you're delicious And if the book next to the pan Is How To Serve Your Fellow Man It's time to quit the venue Because you're on the menu

Seasoned Greetings

When greeting guests in Tokyo The custom is to bow down low While in Tibet both old and young Say hi by sticking out their tongue In France it’s chic to peck the cheek And friends will clap in Mozambique Though Greenlanders will sniff your face Before they help you with your case. Most Eskimos … Continue reading Seasoned Greetings

Double Cross

But somewhere, somehow Judas turned And walked away from all he’d learned So when the two men dipped their bread They both knew one would soon be dead. We’re not sure how it came to this Why he betrayed him with a kiss To bring about the earthly end Of someone he had called a … Continue reading Double Cross

Arch Nemesis

Beware the Ides! foretells the fallOf he who rose to conquer GaulAnd lands still further from his homeThis warrior, this son of Rome.On his return to claim his rightA haruspex with second sightMet Caesar by the Senate archTo warn him of the Ides of March.They’d killed an ox and found no spleenAn omen that could … Continue reading Arch Nemesis

Alpha Mail

The moment I turn down your streetThere’s no one that I wish to meetSo step aside or feel my wrath‘Cause I’m a walking psychopath.I don’t care how you feel todayIf so-and-so has moved awayOr that you think the neighbour’s gayBecause he took up macramé.I’ll knock your pots then slam the gateAnd feed that dog of … Continue reading Alpha Mail

High Stakes

Should I love youTake hold of youOur first kiss would be your lastBlood pulsatingSeeping, satingTaking more than I had asked.This lifeless life out of the sunExiled from God’s own planIts beastly feast that’s fit for noneWas not how I began.Still, you near meDon’t you fear me?I can pull you down to hellNoI’ll leave youLet me … Continue reading High Stakes