The word for hippopotamus Ain't half big as its bottom is
Said Narcissus' missus: No kiss is as his is...
Take me to that fabled time When destiny was more sublime When noble quests were blessed by God Himself Where crones intoned prophetic rhymes And wizards read the stars for signs While deep within each hollow hid an elf. Take me to a time before When magic could unlock a door And conjurers cried out … Continue reading Knight Shift
My thoughts on politics, if any? To spare three lines would be too many
The critics ask from time to time Do all your poems have to rhyme? If not the case, my esteemed friends How would I know when each one ends?
I thought my life was going well until I watched TVWhere some young thing in yoga pants screamed: Get off that settee!She told me that I eat too much and ought to exerciseAnd should feel guilty every time I supersize my fries.I changed the channel just in time because I got upsetOnly to hear a … Continue reading Viral Spiral
I have a friend, Mr Dearden Statistics say he’s one in ten Who lives at Number 2-2-3 Look for the house that has a tree. His job is fixing old machines Throughout the night, by any means Days off, he reconditions cars And meets his mates in select bars. Devoted uncle, brother, son He always … Continue reading Decimulled
On her rounds every night She’s a curious sight With her trolley and crushed velvet hat As she shuffles in shoes Lined with yesterday’s news Through the town like a wayfaring cat Where are you from, Crazy Annie? What have you done, Crazy Annie? Now and then she will stop To peer into a shop … Continue reading Stone Pillow
It's great to see you back, old friends Returned from your endeavours To cheer a weary world just when It needs you more than ever
It's taken a lifetime to get here but it's been worth it. I've just published my first book of poems. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them. I'm currently setting up Maple Syrup Publishing to remain autonomous, but for now you can find It Started When You Farted: Witty … Continue reading It Started When You Farted