My valentine suggested wine;
I bought the best champagne.
Then after making love we dined
On Chocolate Frangipane.
Why don’t we do this every night?
She cooed after our frolics.
So, now we do and that is why
We’re toothless alcoholics.
Tag: poem
Count Me Out
February, you’re sublime
Romantic, cool and flirty
Who will admit to twenty-nine
But draws the line at thirty
Track Pants
Here lies Ray, who missed his train
Then chased it down the track
Until he tripped, where he remained
And met it coming back
Ink-Credible
Octopuses? Octopi?
These creatures surely wonder why
Our single brains stray down such roads
While nine tell them they’re octopodes
Coming Achoo
Winter stops us in our tracks
With biological attacks
Perhaps to kick us into touch
Because it doesn’t like us much.
The common cold, the experts note,
Is still without an antidote.
As for the ‘flu, we get the shot
Which seems more like an afterthought.
Coughing, sneezing… who’d desire us?
It’s our friend, the winter virus.
Ironic, because when it strikes us
It’s just saying that it likes us.
Sleep Over
My love swears I snore like a bear
This is a husband’s fate.
A wife’s is to give thankful prayer
That men don’t hibernate.
Snow Job
No sunburned noses at the beach
No crab apples just out of reach
No jasmine to infuse the breeze
No lavender to make us sneeze
No sandals piled outside the door
No evening strolls along the shore
No watching cats chase butterflies
No lemonade, no record highs
No counting ants, as they file past
No starlit skies, now overcast.
Even old folks can’t remember
Why it is, we have November.
In Her Element
Marie Curie led the way in radiation theory
Stubbornly pursuing every scientific query.
This dangerous endeavour which our hero chose to write on
Led to one advantage: she could read without the light on.
Pest Control
A problem shared is a problem halved…
In your case, this is true.
For, when we meet I have but one
Yet somehow leave with two.
St George’s Dei
God is an Englishman
He wears a bowler hat
He gave us brollies for the rain so folk can stop to chat.
His favourite meal is fish & chips and if he’s staying in
He likes to watch the cricket, eating biscuits out the tin.
He cheers on Blackburn Rovers and when in The Great Beyond
He drives an Aston Martin, telling angels: “Call me Bond.”
He sent us earthly kings and queens to reign on his behalf
Then sent The Benny Hill Show to make everybody laugh.
God is an Englishman
Sublime and yet absurd
A marvel we commemorate each April 23rd.
Mr Ormsby At Large 