The word for hippopotamus Ain't half big as its bottom is
Tag: rhyme
Knight Shift
Take me to that fabled time When destiny was more sublime When noble quests were blessed by God Himself Where crones intoned prophetic rhymes And wizards read the stars for signs While deep within each hollow hid an elf. Take me to a time before When magic could unlock a door And conjurers cried out … Continue reading Knight Shift
Rhyme and Reason
The critics ask from time to time Do all your poems have to rhyme? If not the case, my esteemed friends How would I know when each one ends?
Decimulled
I have a friend, Mr Dearden Statistics say he’s one in ten Who lives at Number 2-2-3 Look for the house that has a tree. His job is fixing old machines Throughout the night, by any means Days off, he reconditions cars And meets his mates in select bars. Devoted uncle, brother, son He always … Continue reading Decimulled
Stone Pillow
On her rounds every night She’s a curious sight With her trolley and crushed velvet hat As she shuffles in shoes Lined with yesterday’s news Through the town like a wayfaring cat Where are you from, Crazy Annie? What have you done, Crazy Annie? Now and then she will stop To peer into a shop … Continue reading Stone Pillow
It Started When You Farted
It's taken a lifetime to get here but it's been worth it. I've just published my first book of poems. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them. I'm currently setting up Maple Syrup Publishing to remain autonomous, but for now you can find It Started When You Farted: Witty … Continue reading It Started When You Farted
Over, Lord
I bade my love compose an ode To prove her heart was true Reciting To Him All Is Owed She blushed the whole way through. I bade my love prepare a feast Befitting of her lord She cooked for me the finest beast Her dowry would afford. I bade my love take out a boat … Continue reading Over, Lord
SWAT Team
The buzz of a mosquito can Torment the mind of any man And those who mock this state of dread Have never heard one whilst in bed
Smooth Operators
When Alexander Graham Bell Phoned Mr Watson he knew well The pair of friends would make a killing By next inventing monthly billing
Roll Play
My love, you’re a Tahitian girl That dances on the sand Who charms the breeze with every twirl And gesture of her hand My love, you're absinthe through the veins Each time my lips are kissed A cruel elixir bringing pain Which no man can resist My love, to me you are a song Whose … Continue reading Roll Play
Mr Ormsby At Large 