In this age of doublespeak, I’ve come up with alternative definitions for the following:
(this will be added to on a regular basis)
burger: what tigers say when they’re cold
understandable: what a bull whisperer is paid to do
dresser: the valet’s job
earring: tinnitus
tumour: ordering another round for you and a mate
former: ordering a round of doubles for you and a mate
forests: bracelets
tracking: Usain Bolt
parking: Tiger Woods
blinking: Kanye West
bonking: Hugh Hefner
mismanagement: the green Tic Tac
permits: gloves for stroking cats
whisky: very much like a whisk
fetish: not unlike a fet
sofa: up until now
mastered: everyone taking a dump at the same time
Hebrew: Jewish beer
ornate: how about Nate instead?
window: what gamblers hope to do
papal: directions for using a slot machine
president: the resulting damage when a gift is dropped
icon: a mirage
painting: what you see a doctor for in Jamaica
terrier: more like Terry than Terry
school: fine by me
Romania: the latest rowing craze
Slovak: Vak with a low IQ
Budapest: Siddhartha Gautama’s interminable chanting
miming: a common reply to the question Which of your vases do you treasure most?
predict: before dict
confound: the locating of an escaped criminal
subdued: a cool underwater mariner
analogue: proctologist’s casebook
duplicity: New York, New York
catholic: someone with an abnormal dependence on cats
popsicle: father’s scythe
abundance: twerking
distant: an ant who’s been scorned by his peers
tantric: skin bronzer
carnation: the USA
statutory: a bust of a Conservative politician
psychopath: a trail for the insane
francophone: telecommunication handset for Spanish generals
bisect: a niche cult for those who swing both ways
comradeship: Potemkin
mango: “I believe the gentleman’s leaving.”
sarcasm: the void between Nikolai II and his subjects
oxymoron: air-head
😂😂
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