Tongue Twister

The rule for fractions when you're young? It's two-thirds' brains And one-third tongue

Tumbler Grumbler

The pessimist with half a glass Sees no point being gleeful While optimists will always ask If theirs comes with a refill

Beeline

The honey bee performs a dance Which indicates the vector Its friends should fly to find those plants Providing the best nectar. With six legs that’s no easy feat And so, to overcome it To keep the message short and sweet The clumsy ones just hum it.

Captain’s Log

Sir Francis Drake had what it takes To sail around the world And followed in Magellan’s wake With England’s flag unfurled. Along his route he plundered loot Until the hold was packed With millions from Brazilians And the Spaniards he attacked. On his return, the English yearned To learn of far off places Of queens … Continue reading Captain’s Log →

Local Weirdough

“I’ve gone into hiding.” “We’re in Pizza Hut.” “That’s what they want you to think,” Laverne lowered her voice. “Look around… what do you see?” “Happy fat people.” “All of them?” “All the ones eating pizza,” I was able to confirm. “What about him on his own over at the salad bar? What’s his story?” … Continue reading Local Weirdough →

Watch Your Tongue

When canny cannibals suggest You call round as a dinner guest You're right to feel suspicious They're hoping you're delicious And if the book next to the pan Is How To Serve Your Fellow Man It's time to quit the venue 'Cause guess who's on the menu?

Seasoned Greetings

When greeting guests in Tokyo The custom is to bow down low While in Tibet both old and young Say hi by sticking out their tongue In France it’s chic to peck the cheek And friends will clap in Mozambique Though Greenlanders will sniff your face Before they help you with your case. Most Eskimos … Continue reading Seasoned Greetings →

Pyramid Schemer

Of Cleopatra it was said Her loves were so prolific Recording all their antics led To six new hieroglyphics

Spiky Profiles

Porcupines, when making love Must meet at the right juncture For any variation of Results in acupuncture

Interview: The Chamber Magazine

https://thechambermagazine.com/2021/03/19/interview-with-author-poet-john-ormsby/ March 19th, 2021 Bio: I grew up in Toronto where upon graduating university I landed a job as a copy editor for a legal publisher. The work was poorly paid and mind-numbingly forensic with no room whatsoever for any creativity; we were basically word accountants. Upping sticks, I moved to the UK where I’ve … Continue reading Interview: The Chamber Magazine →