Bananas look like boomerangs And if you’re tempted, call a halt For if you don't quite get the hang You could be looking at assault
Tag: satire
Boxing Clever
Last week, I received a surprise phone call from my doctor.“Mr Ormsby?”“Yes.”“Oh, good… so you’re not dead then. It’s Dr Shapiro here. We need to make you an appointment.”“Club fees due?”“Not 'til October.”“Daughter getting married?”“Chance would be a fine thing.”“Class action going ahead?”“It worked on macaques, didn't it?”“Okay, you got me,” I conceded defeat.“I need … Continue reading Boxing Clever
If It Ain’t Baroque…
Nudism in cubism Falls under The Abstract And artist folk behind each stroke Admit it’s inexact. The avant garde can leave some jarred So, should you choose to pose Don’t be surprised to find your eyes Where most look for their toes.
Mother of Invention
At Cana, water turned to wine Delighting all the guests And showed the world The Great Divine Considers all requests. Although some question Was it prayer? Or did a son discover The force behind a mother's glare Is unlike any other?
A Bit of Ostrich
The ostrich claims the biggest eggs The longest neck and strongest legs. Give thanks these birds don't fly about For just one turd would knock you out.
Peace Nicked
“Have you been following events in The Ukraine?” “John, we no longer call it that.” “No longer call what what?” “We no longer call it The Ukraine.” “What are you talking about?” “We just say Ukraine now; they've dropped the The,” Laverne gave me the lowdown. “Who did?” “The Ukrainians.” “Don’t you mean Ukrainians?” “That’s … Continue reading Peace Nicked
Glamour Puss
The platypus unsettles those Who organise their socks in rows Who’d never sport a check with stripes The this-goes-better-with-that types. Is it both mammal and a bird? The mere suggestion is absurd A beaver that can lay an egg? Now try and pull the other leg… Although it doesn’t quack or cluck At first glance, … Continue reading Glamour Puss
Heart Failure
My valentine suggested wine I bought the best champagne Then after making love we dined On Chocolate Frangipane. Why don’t we do this every night? She cooed after our frolics So, now we do and that is why We’re toothless alcoholics.
Time Less
February, you're sublime Romantic, cool and flirty Who will admit to twenty-nine But draws the line at thirty
Cleft Ballot
My thoughts on politics, if any? To spare two lines is two too many