
I sent myself an email
It ended up in Junk.
At last, some honest feedback
On all the bunk I’ve thunk.
light verse and much, much worse

I sent myself an email
It ended up in Junk.
At last, some honest feedback
On all the bunk I’ve thunk.

I gave my heart to you, my love
One February night
Invoking all the saints above
I prayed you’d hold it tight.
And after we had made romance
For, that’s what I still call it,
You gave me such a loving glance
Then made off with my wallet.
The next day you were seen at lunch
With someone we both know.
Now, looking back, I have a hunch
My best friend’s your new beau.
According to my Visa bill
You both then saw a play
A great night out is greater still
If one needs never pay.
Faced with costly overruns
From two hearts hewn from stone,
On my part, not to be outdone
I hacked into your phone.
And so, my love, for us it ends
As does your victory lap
For, you’ve just messaged all your friends
To say you’ve got the clap.

My love, you’re a Tahitian girl
That dances on the sand
Who charms the breeze with every twirl
And gesture of her hand.
My love, you’re absinthe through the veins
Each time my lips are kissed
A cruel elixir bringing pain
Which no man can resist.
My love, to me you are a song
Whose chorus fills the air
Inviting men to sing along
Allaying their despair.
My love, your powdered skin’s as soft
As petals on a rose
Its luring scent designed to waft
With each layer you expose.
Alas! Another’s at your door
I thank you for your art.
In truth, our love’s a game, no more
And you have played your part.

Of Cleopatra it was said
Her loves were so prolific,
Recording all their antics led
To six new hieroglyphics.
My love is like a red red rose…
One Scottish bard chose to propose.
My ex was like a Yucca plant
And on the yeuch, I’m adamant.