“I’ve gone into hiding.” “We’re in Pizza Hut.” “That’s what they want you to think,” Laverne lowered her voice. “Look around… what do you see?” “Happy fat people.” “All of them?” “All the ones eating pizza,” I was able to confirm. “What about him on his own over at the salad bar? What’s his story?” … Continue reading Local Weirdough
Of Cleopatra it was said Her loves were so prolific Recording all their antics led To six new hieroglyphics
Porcupines, when making love Must meet at the right juncture For any variation of Results in acupuncture
“Trump’s building a Death Star,” Laverne announced whilst reloading. “Good for him.”“For building a Death Star?”“For keeping busy during lockdown.”“Is it a family affair?”“He’ll fly it and Melania’s going to serve the drinks.“I imagine there'll be a launch…”“By invitation only in the Space Force Lounge at Mar-A-Lago Int’l Airport.”“Tickets won’t be cheap.”“You could just buy … Continue reading Comet me, Bro!
I wouldn’t write whilst drunk Because those thoughts we’ve often thunk Mixed with suspicions we’ve distilled Much like one's drink, ought not be spilled
Our neighbour favours push-up bras To emphasize her cleavage Although defying Newton’s Laws Necessitates some heavage. When on display, the locals say: How fortunate she's got them! But sex appeal ain't always real 'Cause we know where she bought them
Sue sits at her laptop Pinging emails to herself Andy’s new ZOOM backdrop Is a virtual bookshelf Pete’s touched base with Linked-In To float this week’s ideation Debbie’s power-thinking More proactive penetration. Management consultants Hoped that Covid would pay out Not to be insultant But such optics are in doubt. Companies aren’t calling They're too … Continue reading Counsel Culture
My mother was a medical professional who worked long hours. When she came home in the evenings her day didn’t end there because she would then make supper, help us with our homework, do laundry, iron, wait up for my father to return home from work, etc. It wasn’t until I was older that I … Continue reading Maximum Overload
Half of ladybugs are dudes Biologists agree But just so things aren't misconstrued: What would their pronouns be?
In this age of doublespeak, I've come up with alternative definitions for the following: (this will be added to on a regular basis) burger: what tigers say when they're cold understandable: what a bull whisperer is paid to do dresser: a personal valet's job earring: tinnitus tumour: ordering another round for you and a mate … Continue reading Same Difference