My valentine suggested wine I bought the best champagne Then after making love we dined On Chocolate Frangipane. Why don’t we do this every night? She cooed after our frolics So, now we do and that is why We’re toothless alcoholics.
Time Less
February, you're sublime Romantic, cool and flirty Who will admit to twenty-nine But draws the line at thirty
Best Before Date
January’s no one’s friend A month that lingers without end No end to winter’s deepest chill Which steals the breath and makes us ill No end to counting every dime From letting go at Christmastime To resolutions boldly made Then just as quietly betrayed No reason to buy a bouquet No fireworks No Mother’s Day … Continue reading Best Before Date
River Bottom
The word for hippopotamus Ain't half big as its bottom is
Face Booked
Said Narcissus's missus: No kiss is as his is...
Knight Shift
Take me to that fabled time When destiny was more sublime When noble quests were blessed by God Himself Where crones intoned prophetic rhymes While wizards read the stars for signs And deep within each hollow hid an elf. Take me to a time before When magic could unlock a door And conjurers cried out … Continue reading Knight Shift
Cleft Ballot
My thoughts on politics, if any? To spare two lines is two too many
Rhyme and Reason
The critics ask from time to time Do all your poems have to rhyme? If not the case, my esteemed friends How would I know when each one ends?
Star Spangled Boner
A lot of people ask me the difference between Canadians and Americans. Well, first the facts: our country's larger, our population's smaller, Canadian men liked wearing clogs in the '70s and we've never considered testing the viscosity of spray cheese in space a worthwhile scientific endeavour. I noticed while working abroad that colleagues soon began … Continue reading Star Spangled Boner
Viral Spiral
I thought my life was going well until I watched TVWhere some young thing in yoga pants screamed: Get off that settee!She told me that I eat too much and ought to exerciseAnd should feel guilty every time I supersize my fries.I changed the channel just in time because I got upsetOnly to hear a … Continue reading Viral Spiral