“I’ve gone into hiding.” “We’re in Pizza Hut.” “That’s what they want you to think,” Laverne lowered her voice. “Look around… what do you see?” “Happy fat people.” “All of them?” “All the ones eating pizza,” I was able to confirm. “What about him on his own over at the salad bar? What’s his story?” … Continue reading Local Weirdough
My love is like a red red rose… One Scottish bard chose to expose. My ex was like a Yucca plant And on the yeuch I’m adamant.
I gave my heart to you, my loveOne February nightInvoking all that's up aboveI prayed you’d hold it tight.And after we had made romance(for that’s what I still call it)You rose and gave a loving glanceThen made off with my wallet.The next day you were seen at lunchWith someone I don’t knowBut looking back, I … Continue reading St Valentine’s Day Mascara
The female spider dines alone For reasons chilling to the bone Perhaps more dates would turn out right If she could curb her appetite
My love swears I snore like a bear This is a husband’s fate A wife's is to give thankful prayer That men don’t hibernate
Our neighbour favours push-up bras To emphasize her cleavage Although defying Newton’s Laws Necessitates some heavage. When on display, the locals say: How fortunate she's got them! But sex appeal ain't always real 'Cause we know where she bought them
Park Guy Running by Catching everybody’s eye Chiseled face Killer pace Never comes in second place Hasn’t time to stop and chat Training isn’t meant for that Sprints past like a thoroughbred Focused on the road ahead You enflame It’s a game Will I ever learn your name? Park Guy Running by Catching everybody’s eye
It's not just during spring When Nature has a fling 'Cause I don't know one rabbit Who isn’t always at it
I thought my life was going well until I watched TVWhere some young thing in yoga pants screamed: Get off that settee!She told me that I eat too much and ought to exerciseAnd should feel guilty every time I supersize my fries.I changed the channel just in time because I got upsetOnly to hear a … Continue reading Viral Spiral
