Porcupines, when making love Must meet at the right juncture For any variation of Results in acupuncture
Flamingos dine while upside down Which sometimes makes me think: How is it that they never drown Each time they take a drink?
The great white’s famous for its sizeSo when you see its dorsalIt shouldn't come as a surprise You may be its next morselDon’t try to swim or duck and diveFrom Carcharodon carchariasIt views each move to stay aliveAs utterly hilariousBut be aware some do swim byFor quite another reasonSo hope you never catch its eyeDuring … Continue reading Beached Wail
If killer whales stood on their tails And walked out of the sea A dog's next trick he'd learn real quick Is how to climb a tree
When dining out we’re well aware Our manners are on view We open doors like Fred Astaire Insisting... After you! Which silverware to use and when And how to hold a glass While tackling pommes parisienne Delineate one’s class. But not so in the cinema The difference is stark Because it’s hard to be bourgeois … Continue reading Creature Feature
Half of ladybugs are dudes Biologists agree But just so things aren't misconstrued: What would their pronouns be?
It's not just during spring When Nature has a fling 'Cause I don't know one rabbit Who isn’t always at it
A bear who needs to use The Gents (one of life's everyday events) Faces a pressing issue: What does one use for tissue? According to the local lore Passed down by those who've gone before Most bears will grab the nearest thing To wipe away those bits that cling A most hygienic habit But tell … Continue reading Job Done
While teaching a class of 12 year-olds, one student asked about the origin of life. [For the record, she was supposed to be conjugating the present tense of avoir] "Can you narrow it down a bit for me?" I asked. "Well, something had to start something so what started everything?" Lucy replied. "It's a kind … Continue reading Egg Head
"I'm writing my will," I announced. [the New Year's resolution hadn't panned out the way I'd hoped] "Oh my god," Alison covered her mouth. "Are you dying? Can I get you something? A glass of water?" "No, I'm not dying, but if I were I hope to God there'd be more on offer than tap … Continue reading Dead Giveaway