I gave my heart to you, my love
One February night
Invoking all the saints above
I prayed you’d hold it tight.
And after we had made romance
For, that’s what I still call it,
You gave me such a loving glance
Then made off with my wallet.
The next day you were seen at lunch
With someone we both know.
Now, looking back, I have a hunch
My best friend’s your new beau.
According to my Visa bill
You both then saw a play
A great night out is greater still
If one need never pay.
Yet, faced with such cost overruns
And two hearts hewn from stone,
To ensure I was not outdone
I hacked into your phone.
And so, my love, for us it ends
As does your victory lap
For, you’ve just texted all your friends
To say you’ve got the clap.