Bad Hare Day

Every evening after dinner my dogs take me for a walk. On the way to the park we drop in on certain elderly neighbours who are always pleased to see Gizmo and Spark, having had dogs of their own in younger days. One neighbour in particular, Old Ed, is especially fond of Gizmo who himself … Continue reading Bad Hare Day

Lockdown Knockdown

"Why are you in school?" "What do you mean? "I mean Why are you in school? I'm in school because my parents are Key Workers." "Mine are as well." "My father's a Member of Parliament and my mother's a doctor. What do yours do again?" "My dad stacks shelves at ASDA and my mom works … Continue reading Lockdown Knockdown

Thank Queue

“I’m watching you,” the voice came down the phone.“Where are you?” I asked, pulling into the car park.“Drive straight on until you see a yellow Smart Car. I’m just past it on the right.”“Did you say yellow Smart Car?”“I know, don’t even...”“Who in their right mind drives around in a yellow Smart Car?”“Banana Man.”“Who’s Banana … Continue reading Thank Queue

Emotional Baggage

Several years ago while travelling around Ukraine I entered the only shop in a remote village to buy a couple of cold drinks. Placing my purchases on the counter, the elderly shopkeeper tallied my bill on an abacus then pushed it toward me. Not entirely up to speed on ancient counting tools which predate our … Continue reading Emotional Baggage

Suture Self

Last month I received a letter from my doctor reminding me it was time for my annual health check. The fact it was addressed Dear Sir/Madam did ring a few alarm bells, given he's taken at least three selfies with my prostate, but with no offence taken I followed doctor's orders and booked an appointment … Continue reading Suture Self

I Noah Guy…

In the spirit of the season, I drove an elderly neighbour to mass this morning after she knocked on my door claiming to need a lift due to the icy weather. The Church of St Mary Magdalene (didn't get that memo) is a local Catholic landmark conspicuously situated between the Women's Health Centre and Darth … Continue reading I Noah Guy…

No Room For The Unstable

Turned on the radio to discover the media have named today Panic Saturday. Spotting an opportunity, I asked a friend recently diagnosed with acute anxiety if she would like to accompany me into town in the hope we might qualify for free parking. Thirty minutes later Cynthia and I were pulling into a reserved space … Continue reading No Room For The Unstable