Pretty Pleats

My origami friend once told

She’s well-known as a centerfold

And has no current plans for ceasing

While her bottom line’s in creasing

Sole Mates

Park Guy

Running by

Catching everybody’s eye

Chiseled face

Killer pace

Never comes in second place

Hasn’t time to stop and chat

Training isn’t meant for that

Racing like a thoroughbred

Focused on the road ahead

You inflame

It’s a game

Will I ever learn your name?

Park Guy

Running by

Catching everybody’s eye

Beached Wail

The great white’s famous for its size
So when you see its dorsal
It shouldn’t come as a surprise
You may be its next morsel.
Don’t try to swim or duck and dive
From Carcharodon carcharias
It views each move to stay alive
As utterly hilarious.
But be aware some do swim by
For quite another reason…
So, hope you never catch its eye
During the mating season.

St Valentine’s Day Mascara

I gave my heart to you, my love
One February night
Invoking all the saints above
I prayed you’d hold it tight.
And after we had made romance
For, that’s what I still call it,
You gave me such a loving glance
Then made off with my wallet.
The next day you were seen at lunch
With someone we both know.
Now, looking back, I have a hunch
My best friend’s your new beau.
According to my Visa bill
You both then saw a play
A great night out is greater still
If one need never pay.
Yet, faced with such cost overruns
And two hearts hewn from stone,
To ensure I was not outdone
I hacked into your phone.
And so, my love, for us it ends
As does your victory lap
For, you’ve just texted all your friends
To say you’ve got the clap.