Darwinner

The hunch that Evolution sold

Extolling those who break the mold:

Life’s go-getters, the versatile,

Does not include the crocodile.

Throughout its 80 million years

As each Age comes, then disappears

Left standing in the starting blocks

The croc has yet to change its socks.

Quite unconcerned with each debut

Of nature’s latest ingénue

These veterans forgo the pomp

Preferring life inside a swamp.

Perhaps, the way to win the race

Is holding at a steady pace.

The croc has this down to an art

And 80 million years’ head start.

A Reptile Dysfunction

Explorers who first reached the Nile

Soon came upon a crocodile

Whose improprieties lay steeped in lore.

The wily reptile would beguile

An out-of-towner with a smile

Belying a betrayal at its core.

Dear friend, I wish to welcome you!

How was the road from Timbuktu?

Come near that I may hear what news you bear…

In truth, the beast had had its fill

Of horns and hooves and ibis bills

And thus, resolved to seek more tender fare.

The wayfarer, now curious

Despite all signs injurious

Would take the bait, not wishing to be rude

Recounting tales of spitting snakes

Of feuding sheikhs and salted lakes

And bartering with Bedouins for food.

Then we must feast! the creature cried

If you will let me be your guide

We’ll cross to where the spoils are most exotic.

It’s just offshore, a pleasant ride

Do climb aboard and sit astride!

And voyage with me into the aquatic.

To eat one friend is impolite

To eat two speaks to appetite

To eat them all may lead to the odd question.

But be it large or small amounts

To some it’s what’s inside that counts

A thought our croc is currently digesting.

Glamour Puss

The platypus unsettles those

Who organise their socks in rows

Who’d never sport a check with stripes

The this-goes-better-with-that types.

Is it both mammal and a bird?

The mere suggestion is absurd

A beaver that can lay an egg?

Now try and pull the other leg…

Although it doesn’t quack or cluck

At first glance, it might be a duck

But if so, what’s with all the fur?

And is that venom in its spur?

This oddity that broke the mold

Still has the boffins in its hold

And while we mock the platypus

One wonders what it thinks of us