Bad Air Day

"It's not the heat, it's the humidity" A mantra of utter stupidity For, muggy or not First agree that it's hot Then we'll tackle the lack of aridity

Ode to a Toad

Even at your throatiest You're not the least melodious. The truth, my precious toady, is You're positively odious.

Mass Hysteria

In Physics, nothingness has weight Which leads to some disquiet Among the more dense who debate: So, why then do we diet?

Tudor Suitor

Old King Henry had six wivesWhose days were full of dreadFor most of them led tragic livesThen often wound up dead.Catherine of AragonTo whom he first proposedCould not produce a princely sonSo he said Adios!Then Anne Boleyn, closer to homeDemanded that they wedSo Henry cut off ties with RomeAnd then cut off her head.Poor Jane … Continue reading Tudor Suitor →

You Can’t Be Sirius

The push is on to get to MarsBecause down here we’ve blown itI’m just not sure if Mars is oursFor who’s to say we own it?Maybe its own inhabitantsWill greet us when we cruise inIn tiny, shiny disco pantsAnd shout We're all called Susan!We’ll tell them all about the EarthIts sky, its seas, the landHow … Continue reading You Can’t Be Sirius →

Mind The Gap

Ever go upstairs and not remember why you did?Or take the groceries out the car but then forget the kid?Ever open up the fridge and find the teapot in it?Forget to play the lottery then curse when others win it?Lose your keys? Kill the grass? Return home to check the gas?Fail to find your car … Continue reading Mind The Gap →

Against the Grain

Ever eaten whole grain bread And sworn you'd chewed on bark instead?

Ready To Chuck It All In

Today the Queen turned ninety-four Her subjects wish her many more Except the heir, on bended knee Who'd hoped she'd go at ninety-three

Soup For One

I don’t remember what I woreOr who sat next to meI don’t remember who cried moreAnd who came just to see I don’t remember hymns they playedThe readings that were readOr why he paused before he saidThat you weren’t really dead I just remember how you lookedWhen you slept next to meThe Sunday dinners that … Continue reading Soup For One →

Bushwhacked

We have a hedge - when I say we I’m merely being neighbourly Which separates us from next door We’re Number Two, they're Number Four. The hedge is green and not too tall And forms a living, breathing wall Which houses hedgehogs, snails and toads Who are no match for busy roads. The problem is, … Continue reading Bushwhacked →