Stalk Options

“My stalker’s released more nude photos of me.” “How’s your hair in them?” “Fabulous. I'd just had it done.” “Let's have a look.” Laverne slid her phone across the table. “You owe him one,” I agreed, swiping through a considerable collection of images. “Maybe you should get him something.” “Like what?” “Halloween's coming up.” “What … Continue reading Stalk Options

St Valentine’s Day Mascara

I gave my heart to you, my loveOne February nightInvoking all that's up aboveI prayed you’d hold it tight.And after we had made romance(for that’s what I still call it)You rose and gave a loving glanceThen made off with my wallet.The next day you were seen at lunchWith someone I don’t knowBut looking back, I … Continue reading St Valentine’s Day Mascara

Game of Cones

I have a dog whose name is Spark Who sometimes takes me to the park Where we enjoy an evening stroll I feed the ducks; he’s on patrol. An old pro, Spark knows all the tricks From playing dead to fetching sticks His latest one involves a scheme Which bags him loads of free ice … Continue reading Game of Cones

Bad Hare Day

Every evening after dinner my dogs take me for a walk. On the way to the park we drop in on certain elderly neighbours who are always pleased to see Gizmo and Spark, having had dogs of their own in younger days. One neighbour in particular, Old Ed, is especially fond of Gizmo who himself … Continue reading Bad Hare Day