I wouldn’t write whilst drunk Because those thoughts we’ve often thunk Mixed with suspicions we’ve distilled Much like one's drink, ought not be spilled
Category: poetry
Secret Santa
The day before The Night BeforeThe office turned into a storeWith gifts galore from Santa’s stockAt lunchtime, right on one o’clock A furtive glance across the roomAs someone tried to wrap perfumeA figure hunched behind a fern(the new girl had a lot to learn) A friend will cough to help a mateDisguise the sound of … Continue reading Secret Santa
Much Ado
If you’re flat broke it’s said you’ve got A fair amount of diddly-squat And maybe more because this means You also own a hill of beans Which may forestall the need to beg When added to your great goose egg Combined with zero, zip and zilch With all of this why would one filch? Because … Continue reading Much Ado
A Sine of Genus
Imagine sitting by a lake And wondering what it would take To calculate its area The formula would scare ya. Or fancy while beneath a tree You’re struck by thoughts of gravity Quite tough with which to grapple Whilst snacking on an apple. Or say you're watching tortoises When what you start to notice is … Continue reading A Sine of Genus
Branch Locator
Without any apology I traced my genealogy In hope I’d find an entry Replete with well-heeled gentry. Perhaps a Duke without an heir Yet to bequeath his titled lair Or better yet a Duchess Who’d keep me in her clutches. I dreamed of billionaire tycoons Who sipped and supped from silver spoons Whose present state … Continue reading Branch Locator
Less Cargo
Our friend, the snail, needs never pack For all it owns is on its back It heads out on the open road Quite unencumbered by its load Snails never need to book hotels Instead they curl up in their shells Emerging when they feel the need To partake in an evening feed We mock the … Continue reading Less Cargo
Chat Room
The cashier took my money Without even glancing up So I said something funny As a means to interrupt Her name tag spelled out Mary And she didn’t think it cute When I rhymed it with scary Before asking: Are you mute? The parking lot attendant Waved me past while on the phone A job … Continue reading Chat Room
Storm in a D-Cup
My neighbour favours push-up bras To emphasize her cleavage Although defying Newton’s Laws Necessitates some heavage. When on display, the locals say: How fortunate she's got them! But sex appeal ain't always real 'Cause I know where she bought them
Sole Mates
Park Guy Running by Catching everybody’s eye Chiseled face Killer pace Never comes in second place Hasn’t time to stop and chat Training isn’t meant for that Sprints past like a thoroughbred Focused on the road ahead You enflame It’s a game Will I ever learn your name? Park Guy Running by Catching everybody’s eye
Game of Cones
I have a dog whose name is Spark Who sometimes takes me to the park Where we enjoy an evening stroll I feed the ducks; he’s on patrol. An old pro, Spark knows all the tricks From playing dead to fetching sticks His latest one involves a scheme Which bags him loads of free ice … Continue reading Game of Cones
