Mass Hysteria

In Physics, nothingness has weight Which leads to some disquiet Among the more dense who debate: So, why then do we diet?

Tudor Suitor

Old King Henry had six wivesWhose days were full of dreadFor most of them led tragic livesThen often wound up dead.Catherine of AragonTo whom he first proposedCould not produce a princely sonSo he said Adios!Then Anne Boleyn, closer to homeDemanded that they wedSo Henry cut off ties with RomeAnd then cut off her head.Poor Jane … Continue reading Tudor Suitor

Hue and Cry

On the news they warn: the city's now a combat zone Turned off the TV and went outside to be alone Some I know are marching, mostly peaceful, others not Strangers now are asking me if I'm a patriot Sitting in my garden, how I love the peace and quiet I'll fight for a cause … Continue reading Hue and Cry

Arch Nemesis

Beware the Ides! foretells the fallOf he who rose to conquer GaulAnd lands still further from his homeThis warrior, this son of Rome.On his return to claim his rightA haruspex with second sightMet Caesar by the Senate archTo warn him of the Ides of March.They’d killed an ox and found no spleenAn omen that could … Continue reading Arch Nemesis

Seasoned Greetings

When greeting guests in Tokyo The custom is to bow down low While in Tibet both old and young Say hi by sticking out their tongue. In France it’s chic to peck the cheek And friends will clap in Mozambique Though Greenlanders will sniff your face Before they help you with your case. Most Eskimos … Continue reading Seasoned Greetings

Mother of Invention

At Cana, water turned to wine Delighting all the guests And showed the world The Great Divine Considers all requests. Although some question Was it prayer? Or did a son discover The force behind a mother's glare Is unlike any other?

Ante Establishment

Randomly flicking through the TV channels I happened upon a show called Child Genius, a programme whose aim is to discover which children in Britain have never been allowed to climb a tree, drink Fanta and make friends their own age. Contestants range in age from 8 - 12 in Earth years and from what … Continue reading Ante Establishment

Stalk Options

“My stalker’s released more nude photos of me.” “How’s your hair in them?” “Fabulous. I'd just had it done.” “Let's have a look.” Laverne slid her phone across the table. “You owe him one,” I agreed, swiping through a considerable collection of images. “Maybe you should get him something.” “Like what?” “Halloween's coming up.” “What … Continue reading Stalk Options