Chat Room

The cashier took my money Without even glancing up So I said something funny As a means to interrupt Her name tag spelled out Mary And she didn’t think it cute When I rhymed it with scary Before asking: Are you mute? The parking lot attendant Waved me past while on the phone A job … Continue reading Chat Room

Don’t Stand So Close To Me

The new teacher entered the classroom and took her seat, greeting no one. Perpetua Tightwaters was having a bad day but her deportment made it impossible for the students to tell because she held only one expression in her armoury: disapproval. A fierce-looking woman with grey-blue eyes which devoured their prey whole, she could scan … Continue reading Don’t Stand So Close To Me

Suture Self

Last month I received a letter from my doctor reminding me it was time for my annual health check. The fact it was addressed Dear Sir/Madam did ring a few alarm bells, given he's taken at least three selfies with my prostate, but with no offence taken I followed doctor's orders and booked an appointment … Continue reading Suture Self