Nature’s stopped us in our tracks With one of her surprise attacks Perhaps to kick us into touch Because she doesn’t like us much The only thing that does desire us Is this damned Coronavirus Ironic, because when it strikes us It’s just saying that it likes us
“I feel like a Stepford Wife.” “That explains the outfit then.” “No, I’m serious. I no longer feel comfortable buying just anything, only what’s needed,” Laverne complained, as she headed down the cookie aisle. “We’re being reprogrammed to become more altruistic which I guess isn’t a bad thing.” “Toilet paper’s that way,” I pointed behind … Continue reading Aisle Stand By You
“I’m watching you,” the voice came down the phone.“Where are you?” I asked, pulling into the car park.“Drive straight on until you see a yellow Smart Car. I’m just past it on the right.”“Did you say yellow Smart Car?”“I know, don’t even...”“Who in their right mind drives around in a yellow Smart Car?”“Banana Man.”“Who’s Banana … Continue reading Thank Queue
Ever go upstairs and not remember why you did?Or take the groceries out the car but then forget the kid?Ever open up the fridge and find the teapot in it?Forget to play the lottery then curse when others win it?Lose your keys? Kill the grass? Return home to check the gas?Fail to find your car … Continue reading Mind The Gap
Ever eaten whole grain bread And sworn you'd chewed on bark instead?
Last month I received a letter from my doctor reminding me it was time for my annual health check. The fact it was addressed Dear Sir/Madam did ring a few alarm bells, given he's taken at least three selfies with my prostate, but with no offence taken I followed doctor's orders and booked an appointment … Continue reading Suture Self
To the Finder Should you happen upon these pages, Dear Reader, you will acquaint yourself with the final remembrances of a life – my life – which is no longer of any consequence to those who mattered most to me. For the record, I was christened Anne, branding me with the same scarlet stain borne … Continue reading Oliver (with a twist)
My dog has died and no one caresI mention him but this draws staresAnd frowns which tell me I’m too oldTo mourn a pet, or so I’m told.Empty corners, bare floorRoom before but now we’ve moreToys donated, bed goneNo more divots in the lawn.Coming home, a rusty gateAnnounces me and though I waitNo rocket launches … Continue reading Doggone