Prickly Heat

My love is like a red red rose… One Scottish bard chose to expose. My ex was like a Yucca plant And on the yeuch I’m adamant.

Heart Failure

My valentine suggested wine I bought the best champagne Then after making love we dined On Chocolate Frangipane. Why don’t we do this every night? She cooed after our frolics So, now we do and that is why We’re toothless alcoholics.

Time Less

February, you're sublime Romantic, cool and flirty Who will admit to twenty-nine But draws the line at thirty

St Valentine’s Day Mascara

I gave my heart to you, my loveOne February nightInvoking all that's up aboveI prayed you’d hold it tight.And after we had made romance(for that’s what I still call it)You rose and gave a loving glanceThen made off with my wallet.The next day you were seen at lunchWith someone I don’t knowBut looking back, I … Continue reading St Valentine’s Day Mascara →

Over, Lord

I bade my love compose an ode To prove her heart was true Reciting To Him All Is Owed She blushed the whole way through I bade my love prepare a feast Befitting of her lord She cooked for me the finest beast Her dowry would afford I bade my love take out a boat … Continue reading Over, Lord →

Hide and Seek

My sweet, when we say love is blind It's simply Nature being kind For were our flaws known in advance You wouldn't get a second glance

Roll Play

My love, you’re a Tahitian girl That dances on the sand Who charms the breeze with every twirl And gesture of her hand My love, you're absinthe through the veins Each time my lips are kissed A cruel elixir bringing pain Which no man can resist My love, to me you are a song Whose … Continue reading Roll Play →

Pyramid Schemer

Of Cleopatra it was said Her loves were so prolific Recording all their antics led To six new hieroglyphics