The figure on the mountain knewFar higher than the eagle flewBeyond the sun and past the lightWere men who crossed the sky by night.Soon after dusk their fires appearedThen slowly, once a course was steeredTheir caravan set out en masseTo make its empyreal pass. Like beasts migrating on the plainsLike swarms that form to greet … Continue reading Constellation Prize
If you’re flat broke it’s said you’ve got A fair amount of diddly-squat And maybe more because this means You also own a hill of beans Which may forestall the need to beg When added to your great goose egg Combined with zero, zip and zilch With all of this why would one filch? Because … Continue reading Much Ado
Imagine sitting by a lake And wondering what it would take To calculate its area The formula would scare ya. Or fancy while beneath a tree You’re struck by thoughts of gravity Quite tough with which to grapple Whilst snacking on an apple. Or say you're watching tortoises When what you start to notice is … Continue reading A Sine of Genus
Half of ladybugs are dudes Biologists agree But just so things aren't misconstrued: What would their pronouns be?
In this age of doublespeak, I've come up with alternative definitions for the following: (this will be added to on a regular basis) burger: what tigers say when they're cold understandable: what a bull whisperer is paid to do dresser: the valet's job earring: tinnitus tumour: ordering another round for you and a mate former: … Continue reading Same Difference
The push is on to get to MarsBecause down here we’ve blown itI’m just not sure if Mars is oursFor who’s to say we own it?Maybe its own inhabitantsWill greet us when we cruise inIn tiny, shiny disco pantsAnd shout We're all called Susan!We’ll tell them all about the EarthIts sky, its seas, the landHow … Continue reading You Can’t Be Sirius
Remember, Man, that you are dust And unto dust you shall return... God, if we're due to re-combust Do you give discounts on the urn?
Randomly flicking through the TV channels I happened upon a show called ‘Child Genius’, a programme whose aim is to discover which children in Britain have never been allowed to climb a tree, drink Fanta and make friends their own age. Contestants range in age from 8 - 12 in Earth years and from what … Continue reading Ante Establishment
While teaching a class of 12 year-olds, one student asked about the origin of life. [For the record, she was supposed to be conjugating the present tense of avoir] "Can you narrow it down a bit for me?" I asked. "Well, something had to start something so what started everything?" Lucy replied. "It's a kind … Continue reading Egg Head
In the spirit of the season, I drove an elderly neighbour to mass this morning after she knocked on my door claiming to need a lift due to the icy weather. The Church of St Mary Magdalene (didn't get that memo) is a local Catholic landmark conspicuously situated between the Women's Health Centre and Darth … Continue reading I Noah Guy…