Ante Establishment

Randomly flicking through the TV channels I happened upon a show called ‘Child Genius’, a programme whose aim is to discover which children in Britain have never been allowed to climb a tree, drink Fanta and make friends their own age. Contestants range in age from 8 - 12 in Earth years and from what … Continue reading Ante Establishment →

Sphere Anxiety

Those folks who claim the Earth is flat Aren't certain where the edge is at Perhaps a flat brain can’t absorb As much as one shaped like an orb

Smooth Operators

When Alexander Graham Bell Phoned Mr Watson he knew well The pair of friends would make a killing By next inventing monthly billing

Tumbler Grumbler

The pessimist with half a glass Sees no point being gleeful While optimists will always ask If theirs comes with a refill

Spot The Difference

Half of ladybugs are dudes Biologists agree But just so things aren't misconstrued: What would their pronouns be?

Same Difference

In this age of doublespeak, I've come up with alternative definitions for the following: burger: what tigers say when they're cold understandable: what a bull whisperer is paid to do dresser: a personal valet's job earring: tinnitus tumour: ordering another round for you and a mate former: ordering a round of doubles for you and … Continue reading Same Difference →

Egg Head

While teaching a class of 12 year olds, one student asked about the me origins of life. [For the record, she was supposed to be conjugating the present tense of avoir] "Can you narrow it down a bit for me?" I asked. "Well, something had to start something so what started everything?" Lucy replied. "It's … Continue reading Egg Head →

I Noah Guy…

In the spirit of the season, I drove an elderly neighbour to mass this morning after she knocked on my door claiming to need a lift due to the icy weather. The Church of St Mary Magdalene (didn't get that memo) is a local Catholic landmark conspicuously situated between the Women's Health Centre and Darth … Continue reading I Noah Guy… →