Randomly flicking through the TV channels I happened upon a show called Child Genius, a programme whose aim is to discover which children in Britain have never been allowed to climb a tree, drink Fanta and make friends their own age. Contestants range in age from 8 - 12 in Earth years and from what … Continue reading Ante Establishment
Category: student
Smooth Operators
When Alexander Graham Bell Phoned Mr Watson he knew well The pair of friends would make a killing By next inventing monthly billing
Tongue Twister
The rule for fractions when you're young? It's two-thirds' brains And one-third tongue
Same Difference
In this age of doublespeak, I've come up with alternative definitions for the following: burger: what tigers say when they're cold understandable: what a bull whisperer is paid to do dresser: a personal valet's job earring: tinnitus tumour: ordering another round for you and a mate former: ordering a round of doubles for you and … Continue reading Same Difference
Don’t Stand So Close To Me
The new teacher entered the classroom and took her seat, greeting no one. Perpetua Tightwaters was having a bad day but her deportment made it impossible for the students to tell because she held only one expression in her armoury: disapproval. A fierce-looking woman with grey-blue eyes which devoured their prey whole, she could scan … Continue reading Don’t Stand So Close To Me
Creepy Crawler
A friend of mine who used to teach Said some kids he just couldn't reach A situation made more grim For they were learning how to swim
Egg Head
While teaching a class of 12 year olds, one student asked about the origins of life. [For the record, she was supposed to be conjugating the present tense of avoir] "Can you narrow it down a bit for me?" "Well, something had to start something so what started everything?" Lucy wondered. "It's a kind of … Continue reading Egg Head
I Noah Guy…
In the spirit of the season, I drove an elderly neighbour to mass this morning after she knocked on my door claiming to need a lift due to the icy weather. The Church of St Mary Magdalene (didn't get that memo) is a local Catholic landmark conspicuously situated between the Women's Health Centre and Darth … Continue reading I Noah Guy…