2B or not 2B

The brains behind the pencil Made his mark which we commend But smarter still's his wife Who stuck a rubber on the end

Same Difference

In this age of doublespeak, I've come up with alternative definitions for the following: (this will be added to on a regular basis) burger: what tigers say when they're cold understandable: what a bull whisperer is paid to do dresser: a personal valet's job earring: tinnitus tumour: ordering another round for you and a mate … Continue reading Same Difference →

Don’t Stand So Close To Me

The new teacher entered the classroom and took her seat, greeting no one. Perpetua Tightwaters was having a bad day but her deportment made it impossible for the students to tell because she held only one expression in her armoury: disapproval. A fierce-looking woman with grey-blue eyes which devoured their prey whole, she could scan … Continue reading Don’t Stand So Close To Me →

In Emergency: Break Class

We sent the students home todayAnd then wrote off the yearAgreeing we would all downplayThe panic and the fear.The younger ones all whooped and cheeredAs soon as they were toldThen out the door they disappearedTo watch events unfold.The seniors nervously dispersedFirst, shell-shocked, then resignedThis endgame they had not rehearsedWould leave some friends behind.Worse still, I … Continue reading In Emergency: Break Class →

A Novel Approach

Wi-Fi, Smart PhoneVisit besties with your drone3-D, 5GVirtual realityBinge-watch every show you knowGamers gaming on the goOrder it on AmazonSiri, is she right or wrong?TikTok, FacebookDo you like the way I look?Click bait, fake newsAlgorithms counting views If you could only look awayYou'd realise it's World Book Day

Creepy Crawler

A friend of mine who used to teach Said some kids he just couldn't reach A situation made more grim For they were learning how to swim

Egg Head

While teaching a class of 12 year-olds, one student asked about the origin of life. [For the record, she was supposed to be conjugating the present tense of avoir] "Can you narrow it down a bit for me?" I asked. "Well, something had to start something so what started everything?" Lucy replied. "It's a kind … Continue reading Egg Head →

School Daze

First day back at school after the Christmas break. Greeted colleagues in the staff room where everyone was sharing stories about their holidays and plans to make this term the best ever. "I thought about this place a lot when I was off and decided that teaching really is the best career in the world," … Continue reading School Daze →

I Noah Guy…

In the spirit of the season, I drove an elderly neighbour to mass this morning after she knocked on my door claiming to need a lift due to the icy weather. The Church of St Mary Magdalene (didn't get that memo) is a local Catholic landmark conspicuously situated between the Women's Health Centre and Darth … Continue reading I Noah Guy… →

Hello World

This is my first entry so maybe we should start with an introduction of sorts. [removes Werther's Original and clears throat] I'm Mr Ormsby and thank you very much for dropping by. I write about the people and events who enter my personal space on a regular basis so that you, the reader, can decide … Continue reading Hello World →