“Trump’s building a Death Star,” Laverne announced whilst reloading. “Good for him.”“For building a Death Star?”“For keeping busy during lockdown.”“Is it a family affair?”“He’ll fly it and Melania’s going to serve the drinks.“I imagine there'll be a launch…”“By invitation only in the Space Force Lounge at Mar-A-Lago Int’l Airport.”“Tickets won’t be cheap.”“You could just buy … Continue reading Comet me, Bro!
The day before The Night BeforeThe office turned into a storeWith gifts galore from Santa’s stockAt lunchtime, right on one o’clock A furtive glance across the roomAs someone tried to wrap perfumeA figure hunched behind a fern(the new girl had a lot to learn) A friend will cough to help a mateDisguise the sound of … Continue reading Secret Santa
“My dry cleaner’s been wearing my clothes when she goes out on dates,” Laverne announced.“How do you know?”“Last night she posted a picture of herself in a dress identical to one I dropped off two days ago.”“How’d she look in it?” I asked tentatively.“Fabulous.”“Bitch.”“Exactly.”“Want me to cut her?”“We’ll swing by on the way home. On … Continue reading Just Desserts
On the news they warn: the city's now a combat zone Turned off the TV and went outside to be alone Some I know are marching, mostly peaceful, others not Strangers now are asking me if I'm a patriot Sitting in my garden, how I love the peace and quiet I'll fight for a cause … Continue reading Hue and Cry
The queue for anything is just so long, you wouldn’t dare cut Imagine then, the queue, the day we all go for a haircut
Social Distancing still stands So flirting's not allowed Two metres favours just one man: The very well-endowed
Today the Queen turned ninety-four Her subjects wish her many more Except the heir, on bended knee Who hoped she'd go at ninety-three
The new teacher entered the classroom and took her seat, greeting no one. Perpetua Tightwaters was having a bad day but her deportment made it impossible for the students to tell because she held only one expression in her armoury: disapproval. A fierce-looking woman with grey-blue eyes which devoured their prey whole, she could scan … Continue reading Don’t Stand So Close To Me
Old King Henry had six wivesWhose days were full of dreadFor most of them led tragic livesThen often wound up dead.Catherine of AragonTo whom he first proposedCould not produce a princely sonSo he said Adios!Then Anne Boleyn, closer to homeDemanded that they wedSo Henry cut off ties with RomeAnd then cut off her head.Poor Jane … Continue reading Dirty Harry
Prince Harry chose to jet abroadAnd start his life anewHer Majesty had thought it odd He'd given not a clue.While chess has always been aboutThe move that's unforeseenNo pawn has ever taken outA well-defended queen.