Cleft Ballot

My thoughts on politics, if any? To spare three lines would be too many

Viral Spiral

I thought my life was going well until I watched TVWhere some young thing in yoga pants screamed: Get off that settee!She told me that I eat too much and ought to exerciseAnd should feel guilty every time I supersize my fries.I changed the channel just in time because I got upsetOnly to hear a … Continue reading Viral Spiral →

Pyramid Schemer

Of Cleopatra it was said Her loves were so prolific Recording all their antics led To six new hieroglyphics

Comet me, Bro!

“Trump’s building a Death Star,” Laverne announced whilst reloading. “Good for him.”“For building a Death Star?”“For keeping busy during lockdown.”“Is it a family affair?”“He’ll fly it and Melania’s going to serve the drinks.“I imagine there'll be a launch…”“By invitation only in the Space Force Lounge at Mar-A-Lago Int’l Airport.”“Tickets won’t be cheap.”“You could just buy … Continue reading Comet me, Bro! →

Don’t Stand So Close To Me

The new teacher entered the classroom and took her seat, greeting no one. Perpetua Tightwaters was having a bad day but her deportment made it impossible for the students to tell because she held only one expression in her armoury: disapproval. A fierce-looking woman with grey-blue eyes which devoured their prey whole, she could scan … Continue reading Don’t Stand So Close To Me →

Unprecedented

The President was heard to say I am not wearing a toupée! And though they'd said it just to kid It really made him flip his lid.

EU Turn

So we're out of the EU. Although I've lived in the UK over 30 years, I still play the role of casual observer even during times of great upheaval. This does not mean I'm short of an opinion or two, it simply means I know when to put up and when to shut up. Regarding … Continue reading EU Turn →

Hello World

I'm Mr Ormsby and thank you very much for dropping by. Each of us has our own guilty pleasures: Chocolate Blackout Cake, slot machines, staying in our pajamas all day, seeing a stranger walk into a lamp post, etc. Mine is words. Whether I'm at work or walking the dog, words are constantly ricocheting around … Continue reading Hello World →