The great white’s famous for its sizeSo when you see its dorsalIt shouldn't come as a surprise You may be its next morselDon’t try to swim or duck and diveFrom Carcharodon carchariasIt views each move to stay aliveAs utterly hilariousBut be aware some do swim byFor quite another reasonSo hope you never catch its eyeDuring … Continue reading Beached Wail
The difference between cats and dogs? Hold each in an embrace Your dog will share a loving nod A cat will scratch your face
I have a dog whose name is Spark Who sometimes takes me to the park Where we enjoy an evening stroll I feed the ducks; he’s on patrol. An old pro, Spark knows all the tricks From playing dead to fetching sticks His latest one involves a scheme Which bags him loads of free ice … Continue reading Game of Cones
If killer whales stood on their tails And walked out of the sea A dog's next trick he'd learn real quick Is how to climb a tree
The new teacher entered the classroom and took her seat, greeting no one. Perpetua Tightwaters was having a bad day but her deportment made it impossible for the students to tell because she held only one expression in her armoury: disapproval. A fierce-looking woman with grey-blue eyes which devoured their prey whole, she could scan … Continue reading Don’t Stand So Close To Me
Every evening after dinner my dogs take me for a walk. On the way to the park we drop in on certain elderly neighbours who are always pleased to see Gizmo and Spark, having had dogs of their own in younger days. One neighbour in particular, Old Ed, is especially fond of Gizmo who himself … Continue reading Bad Hare Day
It's not just during spring When Nature has a fling 'Cause I don't know one rabbit Who isn’t always at it
I’ve got two mutts who sniff the buttsOf dogs whom they don’t knowBut what is worse and quite perverseThis passes for Hello!Imagine if we all did thisWhen meeting someone newIf that’s Hello! I'd like to knowHow one would say Adieu!
My dog has died and no one caresI mention him but this draws staresAnd frowns which tell me I’m too oldTo mourn a pet, or so I’m told.Empty corners, bare floorRoom before but now we’ve moreToys donated, bed goneNo more divots in the lawn.Coming home, a rusty gateAnnounces me and though I waitNo rocket launches … Continue reading Doggone
A lot of people ask me the difference between Canadians and Americans. Well, first the facts: our country's larger, our population's smaller, Canadian men liked wearing clogs in the '70s and we've never considered testing the viscosity of spray cheese in space a worthwhile scientific endeavour. I noticed when working abroad that colleagues quickly started … Continue reading Star Spangled Boner
