Seasoned Greetings

When greeting guests in Tokyo The custom is to bow down low While in Tibet both old and young Say hi by sticking out their tongue. In France it’s chic to peck the cheek And friends will clap in Mozambique Though Greenlanders will sniff your face Before they help you with your case. Most Eskimos … Continue reading Seasoned Greetings

Alpha Mail

The moment I turn down your streetThere’s no one that I wish to meetSo step aside or feel my wrath‘Cause I’m a walking psychopath.I don’t care how you feel todayIf so-and-so has moved awayOr that you think the neighbour’s gayBecause he took up macramé.I’ll knock your pots then slam the gateAnd feed that dog of … Continue reading Alpha Mail

Hue and Cry

On the news they warn: the city's now a combat zone Turned off the TV and went outside to be alone Some I know are marching, mostly peaceful, others not Strangers now are asking me if I'm a patriot Sitting in my garden, how I love the peace and quiet I'll fight for a cause … Continue reading Hue and Cry

Bushwhacked

We have a hedge - when I say we I’m merely being neighbourly Which separates us from next door We’re Number Two, they're Number Four. The hedge is green and not too tall And forms a living, breathing wall Which houses hedgehogs, snails and toads Who are no match for busy roads. The problem is, … Continue reading Bushwhacked