“I’m watching you,” the voice came down the phone.“Where are you?” I asked, pulling into the car park.“Drive straight on until you see a yellow Smart Car. I’m just past it on the right.”“Did you say yellow Smart Car?”“I know, don’t even...”“Who in their right mind drives around in a yellow Smart Car?”“Banana Man.”“Who’s Banana … Continue reading Thank Queue
We sent the students home todayAnd then wrote off the yearAgreeing we would all downplayThe panic and the fear.The younger ones all whooped and cheeredAs soon as they were toldThen out the door they disappearedTo watch events unfold.The seniors nervously dispersedFirst, shell-shocked, then resignedThis endgame they had not rehearsedWould leave some friends behind.Worse still, I … Continue reading In Emergency: Break Class
Remember, Man, that you are dust And unto dust you shall return... God, if we're due to re-combust Do you give discounts on the urn?
Ever go upstairs and not remember why you did?Or take the groceries out the car but then forget the kid?Ever open up the fridge and find the teapot in it?Forget to play the lottery then curse when others win it?Lose your keys? Kill the grass? Return home to check the gas?Fail to find your car … Continue reading Mind The Gap
My dog has died and no one caresI mention him but this draws staresAnd frowns which tell me I’m too oldTo mourn a pet, or so I’m told.Empty corners, bare floorRoom before but now we’ve moreToys donated, bed goneNo more divots in the lawn.Coming home, a rusty gateAnnounces me and though I waitNo rocket launches … Continue reading Doggone
"I'm writing my will," I announced. [the New Year's resolution hadn't panned out the way I'd hoped] "Oh my god," Alison covered her mouth. "Are you dying? Can I get you something? A glass of water?" "No, I'm not dying, but if I were I hope to God there'd be more on offer than tap … Continue reading Dead Giveaway