The queue for anything is just so long, you wouldn’t dare cut Imagine then, the queue, the day we all go for a haircut
Know Any Short Cuts?
Category: health
Love’s Longing
Social Distancing still stands Love's rules are not allowed Two metres favours just one man: The very well-endowed
Coming Achoo
Nature’s stopped us in our tracks With one of her surprise attacks Perhaps to kick us into touch Because she doesn’t like us much The only thing that does desire us Is this damned Coronavirus Ironic, because when it strikes us It’s just saying that it likes us
Don’t Stand So Close To Me
The new teacher entered the classroom and took her seat, greeting no one. Perpetua Tightwaters was having a bad day but her deportment made it impossible for the students to tell because she held only one expression in her armoury: disapproval. A fierce-looking woman with grey-blue eyes which devoured their prey whole, she could scan … Continue reading Don’t Stand So Close To Me
Aisle Stand By You
“I feel like a Stepford Wife.” “That explains the outfit then.” “No, I’m serious. I no longer feel comfortable buying just anything, only what’s needed,” Laverne made her way down the cookie aisle. “We’re being reprogrammed to become more altruistic which I guess isn’t a bad thing.” “Toilet paper’s that way,” I pointed behind her. … Continue reading Aisle Stand By You
Thank Queue
“I’m watching you,” the voice said down the phone.“Where are you?” I asked, pulling into the car park.“Drive straight on until you see a yellow Smart Car. I’m just past it on the right.”“Did you say yellow Smart Car?”“I know, don’t even...”“Who in their right mind drives around in a yellow Smart Car?”“Banana Man.”“Who’s Banana … Continue reading Thank Queue
Mind The Gap
Ever go upstairs and not remember why you did?Or take the groceries out the car but then forget the kid?Ever open up the fridge and find the teapot in it?Forget to play the lottery then curse when others win it?Lose your keys? Kill the grass? Return home to check the gas?Fail to find your car … Continue reading Mind The Gap
Against the Grain
Ever eaten whole grain bread Then sworn you'd chewed on bark instead?
Suture Self
Last month I received a letter from my doctor reminding me it was time for my annual health check. Addressed Dear Sir/Madam did ring a few alarm bells, given we go to the same health club and he's taken at least three selfies with my prostate, but with no offence taken I followed doctor's orders … Continue reading Suture Self
Oliver (with a twist)
To the Finder Should you happen upon these pages, Dear Reader, you will acquaint yourself with the final remembrances of a life – my life – which is no longer of any consequence to those who mattered most to me. For the record, I was christened Anne, branding me with the same scarlet stain borne … Continue reading Oliver (with a twist)
