Captain’s Log

Sir Francis Drake had what it takes To sail around the world And followed in Magellan’s wake With England’s flag unfurled. Along his route he plundered loot Until the hold was packed With millions from Brazilians And the Spaniards he attacked. On his return, the English yearned To learn of far off places Of queens … Continue reading Captain’s Log

Local Weirdough

“I’ve gone into hiding.” “We’re in Pizza Hut.” “That’s what they want you to think,” Laverne lowered her voice. “Look around… what do you see?” “Happy fat people.” “All of them?” “All the ones eating pizza,” I was able to confirm. “What about him on his own over at the salad bar? What’s his story?” … Continue reading Local Weirdough

Seasoned Greetings

When greeting guests in Tokyo The custom is to bow down low While in Tibet both old and young Say hi by sticking out their tongue. In France it’s chic to peck the cheek And friends will clap in Mozambique Though Greenlanders will sniff your face Before they help you with your case. Most Eskimos … Continue reading Seasoned Greetings

Comet me, Bro!

“Trump’s building a Death Star,” Laverne announced whilst reloading. “Good for him.”“For building a Death Star?”“For keeping busy during lockdown.”“Is it a family affair?”“He’ll fly it and Melania’s going to serve the drinks.“I imagine there'll be a launch…”“By invitation only in the Space Force Lounge at Mar-A-Lago Int’l Airport.”“Tickets won’t be cheap.”“You could just buy … Continue reading Comet me, Bro!

Counsel Culture

Sue sits at her laptop Pinging emails to herself Andy’s new ZOOM backdrop Is a virtual bookshelf Pete’s touched base with Linked-In To float this week’s ideation Debbie’s power-thinking More proactive penetration. Management consultants Hoped that Covid would pay out Not to be insultant But such optics are in doubt. Companies aren’t calling They're too … Continue reading Counsel Culture

Hue and Cry

On the news they warn: the city's now a combat zone Turned off the TV and went outside to be alone Some I know are marching, mostly peaceful, others not Strangers now are asking me if I'm a patriot Sitting in my garden, how I love the peace and quiet I'll fight for a cause … Continue reading Hue and Cry

Lockdown Knockdown

"Why are you in school?" "What do you mean? "I mean Why are you in school? I'm in school because my parents are Key Workers." "Mine are as well." "My father's a Member of Parliament and my mother's a doctor. What do yours do again?" "My dad stacks shelves at ASDA and my mom works … Continue reading Lockdown Knockdown