My mother was a medical professional who worked long hours. When she came home in the evenings her day didn’t end there because she would then make supper, ask about everyone’s day, referee arguments, help us with our homework, find team uniforms, sort out bedtimes, do the dishes, do laundry, iron, wait up for my … Continue reading Maximum Overload
I don’t remember what I woreOr who sat next to meI don’t remember who cried moreOr who came just to see I don’t remember hymns they playedOr readings that were readI don’t remember which ones saidThat you weren’t really dead I just remember how you lookedWhen you slept next to meThe Sunday dinners that you … Continue reading Soup For One
Today the Queen turns ninety-four Her subjects wish her many more Except the heir, on bended knee Who hoped she'd go at ninety-three
Old King Henry had six wivesWhose days were full of dreadFor most of them led tragic livesThen often wound up dead.Catherine of AragonTo whom he first proposedCould not produce a princely sonSo he said Adios!Then Anne Boleyn, closer to homeDemanded that they wedSo Henry cut off ties with RomeAnd then cut off her head.Poor Jane … Continue reading Dirty Harry
After work I thought I'd venture into Manchester to check out the city's annual Mardi Gras shenanigans. Caught up in the spirit of goodwill, I ditched the 4x4 and opted instead for public transport to help save the Himalayan Poop Bat which, I've been told by my 16 year old niece, is hunted to make … Continue reading Party Bigwig
I’ve got two mutts who sniff the buttsOf dogs whom they don’t knowBut what is worse and quite perverseThis passes for Hello!Imagine if we all did thisWhen meeting someone newIf that’s hello I'd like to knowHow one would say Adieu!
The Sussexes have moved abroadTo start their lives anewHer Majesty had thought it odd They'd given her no clue.While chess has always been aboutThe move that's unforeseenNo pawn has ever taken outA well-defended queen.
Randomly flicking through the TV channels I happened upon a show called ‘Child Genius’, a programme whose aim is to discover which children in Britain have never been allowed to climb a tree, drink Fanta and make friends their own age. Contestants range in age from 8 - 12 in Earth years and from what … Continue reading Ante Establishment
To the Finder Should you happen upon these pages, Dear Reader, you will acquaint yourself with the final remembrances of a life – my life – which is no longer of any consequence to those who mattered most to me. For the record, I was christened Anne, branding me with the same scarlet stain borne … Continue reading Oliver (with a twist)
A lot of people ask me the difference between Canadians and Americans. Well, first the facts: our country's larger, our population's smaller, Canadian men liked wearing clogs in the '70s and we've never considered testing the viscosity of spray cheese in space a worthwhile scientific endeavour. I noticed when working abroad that colleagues quickly started … Continue reading Star Spangled Boner