Ode to a Toad

Even at your throatiest You're not the least melodious. The truth, my precious toady, is You're positively odious.

Mass Hysteria

In Physics, nothingness has weight Which leads to some disquiet Among the more dense who debate: So, why then do we diet?

You Can’t Be Sirius

The push is on to get to MarsBecause down here we’ve blown itI’m just not sure if Mars is oursFor who’s to say we own it?Maybe its own inhabitantsWill greet us when we cruise inIn tiny, shiny disco pantsAnd shout We're all called Susan!We’ll tell them all about the EarthIts sky, its seas, the landHow … Continue reading You Can’t Be Sirius →

Creature Feature

When dining out we’re well aware Our manners are on view We open doors like Fred Astaire Insisting... After you! Which silverware to use and when And how to hold a glass While tackling pommes parisienne Delineate one’s class. But not so in the cinema The difference is stark Because it’s hard to be bourgeois … Continue reading Creature Feature →

Welcome to Finland

If killer whales stood on their tails And walked out of the sea A dog's next trick he'd learn real quick Is how to climb a tree

Branch Locator

Without any apology I traced my genealogy In hope I’d find an entry Replete with well-heeled gentry. Perhaps a Duke without an heir Yet to bequeath his titled lair Or better yet a Duchess Who’d keep me in her clutches. I dreamed of billionaire tycoons Who sipped and supped from silver spoons Whose present state … Continue reading Branch Locator →

Meal Deal

The female spider dines alone For reasons chilling to the bone Perhaps more dates would turn out right If she could curb her appetite

Beached Wail

The great white’s famous for its sizeSo when you see its dorsalIt shouldn't come as a surprise You may be its next morselDon’t try to swim or duck and diveFrom Carcharodon carchariasIt views each move to stay aliveAs utterly hilariousBut be aware some do swim byFor quite another reasonSo hope you never catch its eyeDuring … Continue reading Beached Wail →

Bottoms Up!

Flamingos dine while upside down Which sometimes makes me think: How is it that they never drown Each time they take a drink?

A Bit of Ostrich

The ostrich claims the biggest eggs The longest neck and strongest legs. Give thanks these birds don't fly about For just one turd would knock you out.