River Bottom

The word for hippopotamus Ain't half big as its bottom is

Stalk Options

“My stalker’s released more nude photos of me.” “How’s your hair in them?” “Fabulous. I'd just had it done.” “Let's have a look.” Laverne slid her phone across the table. “You owe him one,” I agreed, swiping through a considerable collection of images. “Maybe you should get him something.” “Like what?” “Halloween's coming up.” “What … Continue reading Stalk Options →

Sphere Anxiety

Those folks who claim the Earth is flat Aren't certain where the edge is at Perhaps a flat brain can’t absorb As much as one shaped like an orb

SWAT Team

The buzz of a mosquito can Torment the mind of any man And those who mock this state of dread Have never heard one whilst in bed

Total Recoil

It’s claimed that goldfish draw a blank Each time they meet inside a tank Indecorous, though most don't sweat it Then agree to just forget it

Spot The Difference

Half of ladybugs are dudes Biologists agree But just so things aren't misconstrued: What would their pronouns be?

Coming Achoo

Nature’s stopped us in our tracks With one of her surprise attacks Perhaps to kick us into touch Because she doesn’t like us much The only thing that does desire us Is this damned Coronavirus Ironic, because when it strikes us It’s just saying that it likes us

Egg Head

While teaching a class of 12 year olds, one student asked about the me origins of life. [For the record, she was supposed to be conjugating the present tense of avoir] "Can you narrow it down a bit for me?" I asked. "Well, something had to start something so what started everything?" Lucy replied. "It's … Continue reading Egg Head →