“My stalker’s released more nude photos of me.” “How’s your hair in them?” “Fabulous. I'd just had it done.” “Let's have a look.” Laverne slid her phone across the table. “You owe him one,” I agreed, swiping through a considerable collection of images. “Maybe you should get him something.” “Like what?” “Halloween's coming up.” “What … Continue reading Stalk Options
The difference between cats and dogs? Hold each in an embrace Your dog will share a loving nod A cat will scratch your face
I have a dog whose name is Spark Who sometimes takes me to the park Where we enjoy an evening stroll I feed the ducks; he’s on patrol. An old pro, Spark knows all the tricks From playing dead to fetching sticks His latest one involves a scheme Which bags him loads of free ice … Continue reading Game of Cones
If killer whales stood on their tails And walked out of the sea A dog's next trick he'd learn real quick Is how to climb a tree
I’ve got two mutts who sniff the buttsOf dogs whom they don’t knowBut what is worse and quite perverseThis passes for Hello!Imagine if we all did thisWhen meeting someone newIf that’s Hello! I'd like to knowHow one would say Adieu!
My dog has died and no one caresI mention him but this draws staresAnd frowns which tell me I’m too oldTo mourn a pet, or so I’m told.Empty corners, bare floorRoom before but now we’ve moreToys donated, bed goneNo more divots in the lawn.Coming home, a rusty gateAnnounces me and though I waitNo rocket launches … Continue reading Doggone
I’m known to stretch out on the lawnAmidst the weekend carry-onOf mowing, trimming, wateringAnd folks I know I ought to ring.Just when it starts to get too loudWhen life can push and kids can crowdBefore the next field’s needing ploughedI lay right back and pick a cloud.The dogs, alerted, circle meUnsure if they should stay … Continue reading Another Mist Opportunity