Mind The Gap

Ever go upstairs and not remember why you did?Or take the groceries out the car but then forget the kid?Ever open up the fridge and find the teapot in it?Forget to play the lottery then curse when others win it?Lose your keys? Kill the grass? Return home to check the gas?Fail to find your car … Continue reading Mind The Gap

Boxing Clever

Last week, I received a surprise phone call from my doctor.“Mr Ormsby?”“Yes.”“Oh, good… so you’re not dead then. It’s Dr Shapiro here. We need to make you an appointment.”“Club fees due?”“Not 'til October.”“Daughter getting married?”“Chance would be a fine thing.”“Class action going ahead?”“It worked on macaques, didn't it?”“Okay, you got me,” I conceded defeat.“I need … Continue reading Boxing Clever

Suture Self

Last month I received a letter from my doctor reminding me it was time for my annual health check. The fact it was addressed Dear Sir/Madam did ring a few alarm bells, given he's taken at least three selfies with my prostate, but with no offence taken I followed doctor's orders and booked an appointment … Continue reading Suture Self