Our friend, the snail, needs never pack For all it owns is on its back It heads out on the open road Quite unencumbered by its load Snails never need to book hotels Instead they curl up in their shells Emerging when they feel the need To partake in a nightly feed We mock the … Continue reading Less Cargo
I have a dog; his name is Spark Who sometimes takes me to the park Where we enjoy an evening stroll I feed the ducks; he’s on patrol. An old pro, Spark knows all the tricks From playing dead to fetching sticks His latest one involves a scheme Which gets him loads of free ice … Continue reading Game of Cones
If killer whales stood on their tails And walked out of the sea A dog's next trick he'd learn real quick Is how to climb a tree
When dining out we’re well aware Our manners are on view We open doors like Fred Astaire Insisting... After you! Which silverware to use and when And how to hold a glass While tackling pommes parisienne Delineate one’s class. But not so in the cinema The difference is stark Because it’s hard to be bourgeois … Continue reading Creature Feature
Half of ladybugs are dudes Biologists agree But just so things aren't misconstrued: What would their pronouns be?
Every evening after dinner my dogs take me for a walk. On the way to the park we drop in on certain elderly neighbours who are always pleased to see Gizmo and Spark, having had dogs of their own in younger days. One neighbour in particular, Old Ed, is especially fond of Gizmo who himself … Continue reading Bad Hare Day
If it's your wish To swim with fish Give it less arms And lots more swish
It isn’t only spring When Nature has a fling 'Cause I don't know one rabbit Who isn’t always at it
I’ve got two mutts who sniff the buttsOf dogs whom they don’t knowBut what is worse and quite perverseThis passes for Hello!Imagine if we all did thisWhen meeting someone newIf that’s hello I'd like to knowHow one would say Adieu!
A bear who needs to use The Gents (one of life's everyday events) Is faced with a most pressing issue: What does one use for toilet tissue? According to the local lore Passed down by those who've gone before Most bears will grab the nearest thing To wipe away those bits that cling. I'm told … Continue reading Job Done