The ostrich claims the biggest eggs The longest neck and strongest legs. Give thanks these birds don't fly about For just one turd would knock you out.
Where do storks nest during a warAs spires tumble and towns are no more?What will deer eat when tanks advanceOver sweet meadows of young, tender plants?What drives a cub out of the denCrying alone for its mother again?Gone is the goldDark is the dawnGhostly and coldBest to fly on
The platypus unsettles those Who organise their socks in rows Who’d never sport a check with stripes The this-goes-better-with-that types. Is it both mammal and a bird? The mere suggestion is absurd A beaver that can lay an egg? Now try and pull the other leg… Although it doesn’t quack or cluck At first glance, … Continue reading Glamour Puss
The word for hippopotamus Ain't half big as its bottom is
A lot of people ask me the difference between Canadians and Americans. Well, first the facts: our country's larger, our population's smaller, Canadian men liked wearing clogs in the '70s and we've never considered testing the viscosity of spray cheese in space a worthwhile scientific endeavour. I noticed while working abroad that colleagues soon began … Continue reading Star Spangled Boner
“My stalker’s released more nude photos of me.” “How’s your hair in them?” “Fabulous. I'd just had it done.” “Let's have a look.” Laverne slid her phone across the table. “You owe him one,” I agreed, swiping through a considerable collection of images. “Maybe you should get him something.” “Like what?” “Halloween's coming up.” “What … Continue reading Stalk Options
The pigeon likes to leave its mark No matter where we choose to park And so, I'm pleading with the pigeon Could you maybe move a smidgen?
The buzz of a mosquito can Torment the mind of any man And those who mock this state of dread Have never heard one whilst in bed
It’s claimed that goldfish draw a blank Each time they meet inside a tank Indecorous, though most don't sweat it Then agree to just forget it
Porcupines, when making love Must meet at the right juncture For any variation of Results in acupuncture